"I can't watch the sunset with my friends": Polish families living in Spain

Emigration often means a profound life upheaval. What challenges do Polish families face after moving to Spain? A researcher from SWPS University, in collaboration with her doctoral supervisors and a researcher from the University of Almería, analysed the family dynamics between children and their parents, and observed that life in a foreign country is not free from intergenerational conflicts. Parents are committed to maintaining contact with their Polish roots, while young people strive to develop their autonomy, and properly nurturing biculturalism turns out to be crucial.

Psychologists and sociologists have been studying the impact of emigration on family relationships and mental health for years, but most analyses have only considered the perspective of adults. While researchers have analysed issues such as maintaining the use of the native language, and the discrimination faced by migrant children, it was almost always parents who spoke about their own and their children's experiences. A new study fills this gap, as researchers interviewed both parents and their children about the process of adapting to a new culture. The findings are described in the paper ”I Can't Watch the Sunset with My Friends”: Developmental Tasks and Acculturation Dynamics within Polish Families Living in Spain, published in the Journal of Adolescent Research.

The Sunset Dispute

Nineteen families participated in the study: 44 individuals, including 23 young people (aged 10-20) and 21 parents (aged 30-55), predominantly mothers. It was a qualitative study based on semi-structured interviews, which were then further explored using template analysis. Visual methods were also used to help the young participants identify their emotions.

It turns out that Polish families in Spain, just like those in Poland, experience conflicts related to intergenerational differences. This most often relates to leisure activities and the boundaries of autonomy, which are much more relaxed among their Spanish peers. These statements were particularly prevalent among teenagers born in Spain, considered second-generation immigrant children. Attempts to impose rules of the parents' culture of origin are met with strong resistance from teenagers who want to live like their Spanish peers.

I need to be home by 8 to walk the dog, while others stay up until 9–10. Here, young people enjoy more freedom than in Poland. Parents let their children do everything, expecting them to be responsible. It affects me, and I'm a bit jealous. I can't watch the sunset with my friends due to more responsibilities, says Amelia, 14.

This is where immigrant families encounter an acculturation gap that intensifies intergenerational conflicts. Acculturation gap refers to differences in the acculturation strategies adopted by children and parents, when, for example, parents focus on maintaining their culture of origin, while teenagers reject it in favour of the culture of the country of residence. While some young Poles feel a strong bond with their parents and understand the sacrifices they have made by emigrating, such loyalty can hinder the natural process of developing autonomy and entering adulthood.

Raising a child abroad requires extraordinary flexibility from parents. Forcing a teenager to fully adhere to the rules learned in Poland can be counterproductive, it can intensify both family conflicts and the crisis associated with identity formation. The results of our analyses clearly show that creating space for a harmonious blending of both worlds is the most beneficial strategy, reports Paulina Szydłowska-Klakla, PhD, from the Institute of Psychology at SWPS University, a child psychologist and the first author of the paper based on data from her doctoral dissertation.

Immigrant parents

How do mothers of young people perceive emigration? Adaptation to a new environment depends largely on the age at which they left the country of origin. Those who moved to Spain as teenagers often experienced a rapid transition into adulthood: they had to contend with language barriers and build financial independence, relying primarily on relationships with their compatriots, remaining isolated from the host (Spanish) community. Polish women who emigrated as young adults (especially after Poland's accession to the European Union in 2004) had a better economic start. Initially, they assimilated more readily into Spanish society, but over the years, they often returned to traditional values, primarily those related to raising children, and often combining elements of both cultures. For women who emigrated later in life, stability is important. They value biculturalism but do not seek extensive social contacts in their new environment; they focus on building relationships within their family and close circle of friends instead.

Regardless, mothers share a strong desire to raise their children in contact with Polish culture (for example through their native language or  religious practice) while simultaneously integrating into Spanish society through work or shared experiences, such as motherhood.

The study also highlighted another social aspect. Some women who are raising children often born in Spain, experience dilemmas related to the need to provide care for ageing parents who remain in Poland. This is an organizationally and emotionally demanding task, says the researcher from the SWPS University.

Slow Entry into a New Culture

The situation of children of Polish descent, whose families have experienced repeated migrations and returns to Spain for various reasons, and of children who have relatively recently moved to a new country, indicates different adaptation challenges. For children who have migrated several times, repeated changes of residence can make it difficult to maintain lasting and meaningful peer relationships. Children who have recently arrived in a new country, on the other hand, need time to build new social bonds and integrate into their peer group. In both cases, family support and the maintenance of Polish cultural traditions and practices prove to be a significant adaptive resource, providing children with a sense of continuity, belonging, and security. This aligns with other research findings showing that teenagers who completely abandon their culture of origin are more likely to experience higher levels of depression, anxiety, and poorer educational achievement. Nurturing ties to the country of origin therefore has a protective effect on the mental well-being of young migrants.  

The study suggests that a friendly environment is crucial in the acculturation process, and thanks to places like Polish Saturday Schools and local support centres, young people can more easily cultivate their culture and language of origin without losing contact with their new peers.

The authors of the paper are: Paulina Szydłowska-Klakla, PhD (SWPS University), Professor Halina Grzymała-Moszczyńska (Ignatianum University), Professor Marisol Navas (University of Almería), and Weronika Kałwak, PhD (Jagiellonian University).